EmailCollection

My emails collection, funny & those worth sharing

FW: Ah Beng – the Crazy Singaporean

Date: Saturday, 30 January, 2010, 17:49
>
>     AH BENG the Crazy Singaporean.
>        Why did Ah Beng go to
> a movie with his 18 friends?
>        Because below 18 not
> allowed Lah !
>        ——-? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
>
>        Ah Beng wants to buy a
> TV set. He goes to a shop.
>        Ah Beng   :
> “Do you have color TV ?”
>        Salesgirl : “Yes
> !”
>        Ah Beng   :
> “Give me a green one, please ”
>        ——-? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
>
>       
> Ah  Beng  is  filling  up
> an application form for a job.
>
>        He supplied the
> information  for the columns on Name, Age,
>        Address etc.
>        Then he comes to
> column on “Salary Expected”, but he is not sure
>        of the question.
>        After much thought, he
> writes ” Yes ”
>        ——-? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
>
>        Ah Beng goes to a
> store and sees a shiny object.
>        Ah Beng   :
> “What is that shiny object ?”
>        Salesgirl : “That
> is a thermos flask.”
>        Ah Beng   :
> “What does it do ?”
>        Salesgirl : “It
> keeps hot things hot and cold things cold”
>        Ah
>  Be ng   : “I’ll buy it”
>        The next day, Ah Beng
> goes to work with his thermo flask
>       
> Boss      : “What is that
> shiny object ?”
>        Ah Beng   :
> “It’s a thermos flask..”
>       
> Boss      : “What does it
> do ?”
>        Ah Beng   :
> “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold”
>       
> Boss      : “What do you
> have in it !?”
>        Ah Beng   :
> “Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream”
>        ——-? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
>
>       
> After  taking  photocopies of documents,
> Ah Beng
>  always  compares
>        it with the original
> for spelling mistakes.
>        ——-? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
>
>       Ah Beng always smiles
> during lightning storms because he thinks
>       his picture is being
> taken.
>        ——-? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
>
>       
> Why  can’t  Ah  Beng dial
> 911?
>        Because he can’t
> find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
>        ——-? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
>
>       
> Ah  Beng  had  just  bought  a  new  computer  and
> was using it.
>        When he encountered
>  some  problems. He decide to use the
> ‘Help’
>        command after some
> tries.
>        Soon after, he became
> very irritated and called the computer
>        retailer for support.
>
>       
> Ah  Beng  : “I press the
> ‘F1’ key for help lah, but it’s been
>        over half an hour and
> still nobody come and help me Lah ?!”
>        ——-? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
>
>        Ah  Beng
> with two red ears went to his doctor.
>        The doctor asked him
> what had happened to his ears and he
>        answered, “I was
> ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah  – but
>        instead of picking up
> the phone,
>  I accidentally picked up the iron
> and stuck it
>        to my ear, lah”
> “Oh dear !” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
> “But
> ..
>        what happened to the
> other ear ?”
>        Ah Beng answered :
> “That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!”
>        ——-? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
>
>        Ah Beng talk to a
> long-distance telephone operator.
>        Ah  Beng:
> “COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE
> BETWEEN  
> Taipei
>        AND LAS VEGAS ?”
>
>        Operator: “JUST A
> MINUTE…”
>        Ah Beng  :
> “THANK YOU lah” AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
>        ——-? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
>
>
>       
> After  completing  a  jigsaw  puzzle
> he’d been working on for
>        quite some time, Ah
> Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
>        friend.
>        “It took me ONLY
> 5 MONTHS TO DO IT”, Ah Beng brags.
>        “FIVE MONTHS ?
> THAT’S TOO LONG”, the friend exclaims.
>       
> “YOU  ARE A FOOL.” Ah Beng replies,
> “SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN
>        FOR 4-7 YRS”.
>        ——-? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
>
>         At  a  bar  in
> New York , the man to Ah Beng’s left tells the
> bartender,
>       
>  “JOHNNIE  WALKER,  SINGLE”
>        and
> his  companion says,  “JACK
> DANIELS, SINGLE”.
>        The bartender
> approaches Ah Beng and asks, “AND YOU, SIR ?”
>        Ah Beng replies :
> “Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED
> lah”    
>        ——-? ? ? ? ? ?
> ?——-
Thank   Jane

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February 11, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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