EmailCollection

My emails collection, funny & those worth sharing

Only in Asia (03)

July 30, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Only in Asia (01)

 

July 22, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Update on best Ingliss maid in pippels lepubrick of China (3)

July 15, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Update on best Ingliss maid in pippels lepubrick of China (2)

July 1, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

What Is Globalization?

What is Globalization?
This is probably the easiest rational explanation for Globalization:

A definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate:

 


Question:
What is the truest definition ofGlobalization?
Answer:
Princess
Diana’s
death.

Question:
How come?

Answer:

An
English princess

with an
Egyptian boyfriend

crashes
in a French tunnel,

riding in?a
German
car
with a
Dutch engine,
driven
by a Belgian
who was
drunk
on
Scottish whisky,
(check the bottle before you
change the spelling),
followed
closely by
Italian
Paparazzi,
on
Japanese motorcycles,
treated
by an American doctor,

using
Brazilian
medicines.
This is
sent to you by
a
Canadian,
using
American
Bill Gates’ technology,
and
you’re probably reading
this on your computer,
that
uses Taiwanese chips,

and
a
Korean
monitor,
assembled
by
Bangladeshi
workers
in a
Singapore plant,
transported
by Indian
truck drivers,
hijacked
by Indonesians,
unloaded by
Sicilian longshoremen,
and
trucked to you by Mexican illegal’s…..

That, my friends, is Globalization !

June 28, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Obedient wife

The Obedient Wife’

There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money,
And was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife…’When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me.

I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.’

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died.
L

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there – dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,

‘Wait just a moment!’
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said,
‘Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.’

The loyal wife replied, ‘Listen, I’m a Christian;
I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.’

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?’
‘I sure did,’ said the wife.
‘I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque….
If he can cash it, then he can spend it.’

June 27, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

COWBOY TOMB STONE

Subject:  COWBOY TOMB STONE

COWBOY TOMB STONE Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in the Logan City Cemetery,

Logan, Utah! I wonder if he died knowing he won the ‘Coolest Headstone’ contest.

His five rules for a happy life are at the bottom.

Error! Filename not specified.

 FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1.. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up,  and has a job.
2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to  be with you.
5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

June 26, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Chinese philosophy

How True! Chinese Philosophy

沒錢的時候,養豬;
有錢的時候,養狗。
When without money, keep pigs;
When have money, keep dogs.

沒錢的時候,在家裡吃野菜;
有錢的時候,在酒店吃野菜。
When without money, eat wild vege at home ;
When have money, eat same wild vege in fine restaurant.

沒錢的時候,在馬路上騎自行車;
有錢的時候,在客廳裡騎自行車。
When without money, ride bicycle;
When have money, ride exercise machine.

沒錢的時候,想結婚;
有錢的時候,想離婚。
When without money, wish to get married;
When have money, wish to get divorced.

沒錢的時候,老婆兼秘書;
有錢的時候,秘書兼老婆。
When without money, wife becomes secretary;
When have money, secretary becomes wife.

沒錢的時候,假裝有錢;
有錢的時候,假裝沒錢。
When without money, act like rich man;
When with money, act like poor man.

人 啊,都不講實話:
Man, O Man, never tells the truth:

說股票是毒品,都在玩;
說金錢是罪惡,都在撈;
Says share market is bad but keeps speculating;
Says money is evil but keeps accumulating.

說美女是禍水,都想要;
說高處不勝寒,都在爬;
Says women are trouble-makers but keeps desiring them;
Says high positions are lonely but keeps wanting them.

說煙酒傷身體,就不戒;
說天堂最美好,都不去!!!
Says smoking & drinking is bad but keeps partaking;
Says heaven is good but refused to go.

鄉下早晨雞叫人,
城裡晚上人叫雞;
In the rural area, chicken calls man awake;
In the cities, man calls for chickens.

舊社會戲子賣藝不賣身,
新社會演員賣身不賣藝。
In the past, famous actresses will not sell their bodies;
Now, actresses will sell their bodies to become famous

人生是什麼?
What is life about?

1 歲時出場亮相
At one, YOU are the top priority

10 歲時功課至上
At ten, academic excellence is the top priority

20 歲時春心盪漾
At twenty, getting dates is the top priority

30 歲時職場對抗
At thirty, a good career is top priority

40 歲時身材發胖
At forty, keeping your body in shape is top priority

50 歲時打打麻將
At fifty, beating others at mahjong is top priority

60 歲時老當益壯
At sixty, keeping IT up is top priority

70 歲 時 常常 健忘
At seventy, remembering something is top priority

80 歲時搖搖晃晃
At eighty, moving around is top priority

90 歲時迷失方向
At ninety, knowing directions is top priority

100 歲時掛在牆上
At 100, having your portrait on the wall is top priority!

祝大家愉快,好好做人!
Wishing you all happiness! Be good!

June 23, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Only in Asia (01)

June 23, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

JULY DATES & GOOD LUCK

This is interesting,

THIS IS THE ONLY TIME WE WILL SEE AND LIVE THIS EVENT
Calendar for July 2011

July

Sun

Mon

Tue

Wed

Thu

Fri

Sat

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

 

Money bags

This year, July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens
Once every 823 years. This is called money bags. So, forward this to
Your friends and money will arrive within 4 days. Based on Chinese
Feng Shui. The one who does not forward…..will be without money.

Kinda interesting – read on!!!

This year we’re going to experience four unusual dates.

1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that’s not all…

Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born – now add
The age you will be this year,

The results will be 111 for everyone in whole world. This is the year of
The Money!!!

The proverb goes that if you send this to eight good friends money will
Appear in next four days as it is explained in Chinese FENGSHUI.


Its a mystery, but its worth a try. Good luck.

 

 

June 22, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Will the Dollar Fall?

I forward this to you because I know you’re interested in finance.

TO MY FINANCIALLY FOCUSED FRIENDS

The Question of the Day is…

Will the Dollar fall or not?

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Always remember,
The Key to Financial Survival is to be a Tight Ass!

June 22, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

lovely story

This really is   a great   story!


Anyone who has pets will really like this. You’ll like it even if you don’t and you may even decide you need one!

Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named ‘Lucky.’   Lucky was a real character.
Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy.   Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up missing.

Mary or Jim would go to Lucky’s toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky’s other favorite toys.     Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box.

It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer.   Something told her she was going to die of this disease……in fact;  she was just sure it was fatal.

She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders.   The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky.   A thought struck her….what would happen to Lucky?   Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary’s dog through and through.

If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought.  He won’t understand that I didn’t want to leave him!  The thought made her sadder than thinking of her own death.

The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks.   Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just drooped, whining and miserable.

Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital.   When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn’t even make it up the steps to her bedroom.    Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her to nap..

Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn’t come to her when she called.    It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed.

 

When Mary woke for a second she couldn’t understand what was wrong.   She couldn’t move her head and her body felt heavy and hot.   But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem.  She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned!
While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in life.

He had covered her with his love.

Mary forgot about dying.   Instead she and Lucky began living again, walking further and further together every day.   It’s been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free.   Lucky.   He still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure.

Remember…..live every day to the fullest.  Each minute is a blessing from God.  And never forget….the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards.   They are the ones that care for us. I love you my friend!

If you see someone without a smile today give them one of yours!   Live simply.. Love seriously.   Care deeply.   Speak kindly.   Leave the rest to God .

A small request
All you are asked to do is keep this circulating.

Dear God, I pray for the cure of cancer.
Amen

All you are asked to do is keep this circulating, even if it is only to one more person, in memory of anyone you know that has been struck down by cancer or is still fighting their battle.

June 21, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

No one believes Seniors

No one believes Seniors

cid:1.1889243396@web180007.mail.gq1.yahoo.com
. . . everyone thinks he/she is senile.
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Andy had carved “I love you, Sally .”
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money –
fifty thousand dollars!
Andy said, “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”

Sally said, “No”.
Andy said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.
Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile”
The agents turned to Andy and began to question him.. One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”

Andy said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ….”
The first police officer turned to his partner and said, “We’re outta here!”

cid:2.1889243397@web180007.mail.gq1.yahoo.com

TOO GOOD NOT TO SHARE

cid:3.1889243397@web180007.mail.gq1.yahoo.com

cid:4.1889243397@web180007.mail.gq1.yahoo.com

cid:5.1889243397@web180007.mail.gq1.yahoo.com

cid:6.1889243397@web180007.mail.gq1.yahoo.com

cid:7.1889243397@web180007.mail.gq1.yahoo.com

cid:8.1889243397@web180007.mail.gq1.yahoo.com

And Then:
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing,
chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly
Bubba says, “Think I’m gonna divorce the wife – she
ain’t spoke to me in over 2 months.”

Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says,

“Better think it over………….women like that are hard to find.”

June 20, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

How to wash a toilet

How to wash a toilet

This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you

1. Put both lids of the toilet upand add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.


2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bath room.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.
You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times.
This provides a ‘power-wash’ and rinse’.


6. Have someone open the front door of your home.

Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.



Sincerely,


The Dog

June 19, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment